Overwhelm means we have to love ourselves first

mindfulness psychotherapyIt is a beautiful truth that when “when we give love we receive”.

This starts to occur naturally as we center into presence. Love starts to be uncovered within ourselves and then it extends to others. Making the love within grow even more. It is helpful also to witness others as the love that they are. This helps us to recognise that we are of the same essence.

However many humans can get caught in a sense of duty or even sacrifice.

They feel they have to always be looking after others, without looking after themselves first. This is never wholesome and results only in ongoing depletion. If this rings true, it helps to stop focusing so much on others and really tune into your own needs for awhile.

Some people are so used to carrying others they do not even recognize their own needs.

It can take a few years of practice to get better at it. In this case I recommend never saying yes to anything until you have slept on it and really listened to what your body needs. Then you can say either yes or no from a place of self care.

Symptoms such as overwhelm or exhaustion are an opportunity, like all symptoms.

The opportunity is to learn to stop doing whatever we are doing that is creating this feeling.We have to love ourselves first and honor what our body is feeling.
I have two phrases I use a lot with clients.
People pleasing; when we feel the need to do the right thing by everyone, saying yes to things we don’t want to do, going on committees, helping everyone even when our body is already exhausted.We do this generally because we want to be approved of and because we think we should. However people pleasing is not honoring your soul and nor is it helping others.Start really listening to your body and what feels wholesome for you,  be prepared to say no or to do things your way.It will take courage to do what you need to do, even at risk of dissapproval .However you will find that most people respect you.
People carrying; when we feel the need to fix or rescue anyone around us that is struggling.This will always make us feel very drained and it does not help the other person. It is not our role to solve other peoples problems or to fix their pain.Of course it’s beautiful to be compassionate but their problems are their opportunities to learn.Why would we want to take that opportunity away from people and exhaust ourselves in the process.
I probably spent 2-3 decades learning how to say no and how to stop carrying others, before I could give love from a place of truth.I had to learn how to nurture myself first.It has been delightful to discover the love of extension, that overflows from a place of wholeness and presence. This really is receiving.
 
Much love to you