Why we resist our own healing

Healing takes courage and honesty

We all want to heal, at least we think we do. However the healing journey encompasses all sorts of challenges. It takes courage, it takes a willingness to look at ourselves truthfully and honestly. It takes dedication to working on old habits and patterns that need changing. Healing also requires a willingness to step into vulnerability and discomfort.

You already have that courage and wisdom

When faced with having to honestly see ourselves or make changes that feel vulnerable, resistance starts to arise. Part of us wants to turn away. It is so valuable to recognize however, that our deepest Self is willing, courageous and already has immense wisdom. We just need to open up to ourselves.

Why do we resist

We want to avoid facing challenging emotion or our conditioned patterns

In the early phases of healing resistance may be about avoiding our more challenging emotions, our fears, our worthlessness or our pain. However we cannot heal from what we won’t acknowledge.It is so important to be able to witness our deepest emotion with loving acceptance. It is our deepest emotions and our conditioned responses to them that keep us stuck. For example we may push away love or connection because we are scared we are not enough. Once we start to recognize our patterns with honest compassion and we start to access a more present state, we will move on from our conditioning.This is real transformation and it is beautiful.

We want to hold onto identity

There is an even deeper challenge. Healing is about moving from identifying with the mind and ego, to living from our deepest intuitive being. This is soul or spirit. Healing is a process of moving beyond identity. The ego will resist this at every turn. There is immense freedom though when we no longer see ourselves as a fixed bodily identity, that needs to be something in the world. Instead we discover that we are, in essence, spirit. As spirit we are intimately connected with everything around us. We discover that the essence of what we are is love and there is a growing trust in the process of life. Fear, stress or anxiety start to disappear as we live more as an expression of awareness itself.

Using myself as an example, I still have resistance, but it does slowly ease, promise!

I access states of pure awareness regularly in meditation. It is profoundly beautiful and love is growing all the time. However the journey is still challenging. Even at this stage I experience regular resistance. I have to make myself meditate sometimes, as I can feel the egoic identity wanting to cling on. The ongoing vulnerability of letting go occasionally makes me grumpy.There is also a requirement to stay open. Openess means defencelessness and this feels confronting to the ego.

Healing creates a desire to be authentic in the world. Mostly, authenticity with others is manageable.However there are times when we may need to be different or dissappoint others. This can feel vulnerable.

Spirit is entirely invulnerable,safe, gentle and unconditionally loving

Once we sit in spirit we discover, that state is entirely invulnerable, we are safe and one with very gentle, unconditional love.

Immense gratitude develops and deepening love in relationships. There is growing trust in life and increasing ability to live guided by awareness itself.

We all have “mighty companions” with us every moment

I feel blessed to be experiencing more clearly, the guidance of mighty companions who already sit in pure enlightenment. Jesus once said “I am inside you.” I experientially know this to be true. I hear the divine wisdom of Isira, Jesus and other awakened souls as my deepest aware voice, this is very beautiful. In truth, as the divine love we are, we are one with Jesus, Isira and all awakened souls.None of us are alone on this journey.These companions are available to every single one of us. Esspecially you, yes you!

How resistance is noticed

Resistance occurs for everyone. Usually it is so sneaky that you will not recognize you are resisting. You will come up with convenient excuses not to go to a retreat or not to see your trusted therapist. You will find ways to avoid meditating. This is all normal and all OK. However, aim to start to recognize the truth of your resistance. See it compassionately and step through it. This may be challenging but it will bring you great joy.

It is inevitable we will find our way home

We are designed such that it is inevitable we will find our way home, back to our inner spirit. While we remain not tuned in, we will suffer and we will keep repeating patterns that cause us pain. It is this suffering that will facilitate our deepening journey. We do not really have a choice, it’s either move forward with an open and willing heart or keep suffering.

I wish you much love for your personal journey. Remember there is unconditional love within and all around you, literally holding you along the way.

Much Love

Trish